Monday, February 16, 2009

30 things I've learned as a mom of twins...

1. The same exact toy is WAY better if the other brother has it.

2. The toothbrush is not a toy. Even if both kids think they are the best toy ever. Even if they love to brush their own teeth. Unless you want two screaming toddlers, never relinquish control of the toothbrush(es) until they are old enough to understand that it is gross to suck on a toothbrush and then grind it into the carpet when they done playing with it. Teeth get brushed and no one screams if the parent remains in control of the toothbrush. Period.

3. All diaper pails stink, especially when filled twice as fast. I don't care what they proclaim on the box.

4. Monkey see, monkey do. Always. No matter what.

5. Throwing things is a fun game. Twice the number of kids throwing cups overboard, twice the number of times Mom has to pick it up. Therefore, 'No Throw' straps are a must for the stroller, restaurant high chair, car seat.

6. Plexi-Glass between the car seats is not a bad idea on some days.

7. Hearing one little guy learn to say his brother's name and then call for him repeatedly melts your heart.

8. There is no use in trying to keep the other guy from getting sick. He's gonna get it, no matter how vigilant you are. If you are wise, you will choose a pediatrician who knows this and prescribes medicine in double amounts so you have enough for the second kid. Unfortunately not all medicines can be doubled because the insurance companies are on to us twin parents.

9. One bowl and one spoon is perfectly acceptable when feeding two kids something they can not yet feed themselves.

10. If it is an extra poopy day for one kid, it is an extra poopy day for the other. It will never be, nor has it ever been, just one kid who needs lots of diaper changes.

11. Twins learn at a very early age how to push each others buttons.

12. They are born with the instinct to gang up on mom and dad and they use this instinct from day one (see #10 for one example).

13. It is next to impossible to get a good picture of both kids together.

14. They have their own language and they blabber to each other all day long. Little mini conversations and then resulting actions are hilarious to witness.

15. There are twice as many good night kisses to go around.

16. As soon as you think you have pegged their personalities, they flip flop. They do this to make sure they are never labeled as the 'bad' one, the 'loud' one, the 'hard' one.

17. Accept that you are on parade when out in public. There will never be a day when you are not stopped and asked about your twins. Take this as a compliment, even if they are rude. Newsflash: there is no such thing as MAternal twins.

18. When in public, get used to hearing 'double trouble' accompanied by a quick point, a head nod, and a wink. You will learn to hate this saying but you will laugh when you think about the person who just said it. The look on their face lets you know that they are impressed with themselves for coming up with such a unique saying.

19. No errand is a quick errand. The stroller must be used at all times, until twins are old enough to walk in the same general direction. With the right method, getting everyone and the stroller in the car or out of the car can be done in 7 minutes.

20. There is no perfect double stroller in existence. They are either too wide, too heavy, too long, no cup holder, no basket, one reclining seat, one sunshade that only shades the back seat. I really should invent one.

21. Getting a double stroller, be it a front-back or a side-by-side, through a door, is an art. And it is most impressive to onlookers when you don't hit a single door jamb. TIP: a side-by-side stroller glides perfectly through a door if tipped onto back wheels. Front wheels are airborne and therefore free to spin when door jambs get too close. If not airborne, rotating front wheels inevitably become lodged against door jamb perpendicular to the direction of travel. This usually results in a 16 point turn to dislodge the wheels and make it through the doorway.

22. You quickly learn which stores have automatic doors or handicap buttons. You like these stores.

23. A diaper bag is always necessary. Even if you think it is just a quick errand. And, said diaper bag is always stuffed full because of twice as many supplies.

24. Enjoy your shower. You never know when your next one might be!

25. Dressing twins the same is acceptable if the outfit is super cute. Dressing twins 'the same but different' is also acceptable. Dressing twins in completely different types of clothing is not acceptable. At least not yet. One can not have shorts and a t-shirt while the other has pants and a collared shirt.

26. Choose a sippy cup based on one thing: how easy it can be cleaned (which is directly related to number of parts and number of places old milk can get stuck. You will clean at least a half dozen each night.

27. Monogramming things is perfectly acceptable, even if your husband makes fun of you.

28. A live-in playmate is so awesome! Especially when Mom has to do some chores or take a shower.

29. Twins are a blessing. God chooses special people to be their parents.

30. There are certain things that parents of singletons will never witness. One brother bringing the other brother his blankie when he's crying. Knowing to trade toys, pacifiers, or whatever it may be with just a 'look.' Two itty bitty guys walking down the sidewalk holding hands. Double the slobbery kisses, a kiss from one prompts the other to give kisses. Seeing thoughtfulness happening at such a young age - picking out an extra sticker (even though mom thinks it is because he wants two) and finding brother to give it to him. Hearing laughing through the monitor as they entertain eachother while waiting to get out of bed. Wondering what you did to get so lucky to get TWO precious angels.